its been a week and a day, but still nothing's changed.  except my motivation.  i should say something, maybe tomorrow.

concert tonight, last of the year, band is over, seniors are leaving, i want nothing more than to be alone.  im suffering from a desire for the amazing, its very inconvenient.  its not good for the soul to wait for the sake of waiting.  but ive added a new wish to a list of fish somewhere.  if wishes were fishes we'd all cast nets.  i wish i could write better, i wish i was more articulate, i wish that the words and ideas that flood my head would be more than a trickle in my pen.  i wish my words were more accurate, lyrical, exact and grand and everpresent.  my vocabulary is too linear, my phrases mean one when they should mean four ways.  there's too many things to be said to not be able to.

driving home today in jacob's car, when we were at the top of the overpass, i imagined that we kept driving up into the clouds. 

don't wake me, i plan on sleeping...